April Fools

Time has been moving in fast forward...blame solar flares or the lack of having a winter...or perhaps I'm just getting old. Yesterday was the twinkles birthday and of all days, I had an 11:11 moment that reassured me that my life is on the right path regardless of how off it has seemed lately. I was looking in the mirror and noticed an eyelash on my cheek. I made a wish and walked into the living room and saw the clock... 11:11. The twin character, Lili has an eyelash moment in the film so there are too many 'coincidences' to be ignored. The universe was telling me something... and I needed it.

Its been a dark year... so many little tragedies surround us... many putting others into perspective. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. If I hear that dreadful word one more time... Are we sure it isn't contagious? Friends my age battling it and now my eldest cat, Buddy Holly. I've been dreading this moment for years and have never felt so helpless. It's crushing to think about my child who I've had for fourteen years, who has moved with me more times than I can count, has peed on everything I own and cost me a fortune (worth every penny)... won't be greeting me at the top of the stairs much longer. Death is inevitable, but I really thought he'd live to be the oldest cat on record. Now that he's on steroids you never know... I keep expecting him to turn into the Incredible Hulk, but will settle for him actually eating and keeping down a meal. We are taking it day by day and as long as he's comfortable, we won't cross that bridge. I have no idea how to prepare for what feelings will be in store for me when the time comes, other than being completely lost. There will never be another cat like him, but know that I've done everything to give him the best life and could not love him more.

Death seems to be prevalent in my circle these days and it being April Fool's Day hits even closer to home. One year ago today I almost died on the set of a television show (funny enough I just caught a preview for the next episode followed by another for a show about twins!). Everything happened so quickly my life didn't have time to flash before my eyes. That moment was no joke, but will say with as many close calls I've had... being plowed to the ground by a 15 passenger van and almost flat stanleyed is a semi-humorous in retrospect. Something is obviously keeping me on this earth and often times I think I'm still here to finish my film and tell this story. Perhaps it's taking me so long to complete because I fear life imitating art. Or maybe I'm afraid of letting go of a story so close to me and entering the unknown of what happens afterwards. What will I do then???

I think the real question we should all be asking ourselves is... what can I do now? We live in the now and with the clock ticking so quickly, you must truly embrace every waking moment and be kind to others. Life is so very short and we don't have the liberty to take anything for granted. Settle your scores before you close your eyes at night... take a minute to pet the cat before leaving for work... when your parents get on your nerves, pause and remind yourself that when they are gone you would wish to have that moment back. Live life without regrets and you will sleep better at night and wake up in good conscience every morning... for it could be your last.

Comments

tera said…
I'm so sorry to hear about Buddy Holly- we will be thinking of you guys.
kissincousins said…
Thank you Tera. I know you love Buddy too and am sad that our B animals are slowly passing on. Love you and the boys:)
dianalbarc said…
Meg,had to comment and let you know I empathize with you over the impending passing on of your cat Buddy Holly. I have a 10 year old male boxer who is also exhibiting signs of a downward spiral in his health as his back legs are not working more than they are. He doesn't seem to be in any pain, so as long as he can handle the humility of doing a split every few minutes, I will endure also. He seems happy. I consider myself so blessed that this beautiful animal came into my life as a little puppy so many years ago. I thank God for the brief time that I have had with him. There will be no more puppies for me, I'm getting older and am not up to the training. I send you blessings and wishes for a sign that when Buddy Holly crosses over he will get a message to you that he is well and waiting for you on the other side. Namaste, ~Diana

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