sustenance
I can't believe how much I've turned into my folks! Last night I pressed in the lock for the door leading from the garage into the house. This morning I forgot I'd done that and closed the door shut. When I looked at my key ring there was no house key. I'd forgotten I gave it back to my dad a few weeks ago. I was locked out! Another not great start to the day. I didn't panic and managed to get one set of keys by 9:15am and another left just in case by four. I love this town and my loved ones!
I had to go through the grapevine for pertinent numbers and caught up with some folks. Also called one of my parent's friends about using the view from their house for an establishing shot. I remembered this beautiful view from their porch. Unfortunately, one of the rare other times I've been there was to hide out mere hours after I was shot in 1995. It was strange being there. All those memories rushing back as they did yesterday. There is a reason for all things and this visit has put a lot of focus on me realizing how much that incident affected me.
My sister went into a program today and I won't be talking to her 25 times a day like I'm used to. It's a melancholy moment for us all. I'm proud of her for recognizing an issue that has affected her since she was 14 years old. Seems ironic that I'm working on a food show when she has severe food issues. I did as a child, likely because I was on a weight loss program by the time I was ten. I guess I relaxed on the food obsession at about 21 years old. Now I don't care. Not eating meat is already bonus points. It's sad because food should be fun, not such a calculated experience.
I'm about to go out and I'm running behind, but I don't want to rush around. Pacing myself...easing into my evening. Hopefully I'll finally be able to hang out with work folks in a bit. I'm staying with my godsister tonight, which is good. My folks and her parents are out of town and she just went through a scary experience. I'm glad that I'm able to give her some guidance and coping skills. Assuring her that the fear with subside gradually over time. You will trust again. Just be on guard at all times. Watch your own back. Because in the end, all you have is yourself.
I had to go through the grapevine for pertinent numbers and caught up with some folks. Also called one of my parent's friends about using the view from their house for an establishing shot. I remembered this beautiful view from their porch. Unfortunately, one of the rare other times I've been there was to hide out mere hours after I was shot in 1995. It was strange being there. All those memories rushing back as they did yesterday. There is a reason for all things and this visit has put a lot of focus on me realizing how much that incident affected me.
My sister went into a program today and I won't be talking to her 25 times a day like I'm used to. It's a melancholy moment for us all. I'm proud of her for recognizing an issue that has affected her since she was 14 years old. Seems ironic that I'm working on a food show when she has severe food issues. I did as a child, likely because I was on a weight loss program by the time I was ten. I guess I relaxed on the food obsession at about 21 years old. Now I don't care. Not eating meat is already bonus points. It's sad because food should be fun, not such a calculated experience.
I'm about to go out and I'm running behind, but I don't want to rush around. Pacing myself...easing into my evening. Hopefully I'll finally be able to hang out with work folks in a bit. I'm staying with my godsister tonight, which is good. My folks and her parents are out of town and she just went through a scary experience. I'm glad that I'm able to give her some guidance and coping skills. Assuring her that the fear with subside gradually over time. You will trust again. Just be on guard at all times. Watch your own back. Because in the end, all you have is yourself.
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